Morgan Is A Waiter, Pt. II

Being a server at the very fine restaurant in which I toil has been an extremely interesting and educational experience.  I have met so many friendly people, who really want to enjoy themselves, who are curious about wine, food, or are just plain hungry.  Many are lovely people.  In fact I would say that 98% of the people I've met are anywhere between reasonably pleasant and awesome.  Unfortunately for myself and pretty much every one else in the service industry the other 2% seems to do their absolute best to pick up the slack.  Waiting on a table like this, particularly when they travel in larger groups is at best humorous, ridiculous, and a warning sign screaming "Don't let this happen to you!" at its worst is a soul grating punishment, enough to drive a man to drink, go grey and pull his hair out.  

A table of 5 orders 5 salads, dressing on the side.  4 fish: one no salt, no butter, no fish cake; one sauce on side; one w/ fish cake no sauce; one no butter in sauce; "Can you just make a mixed vegetable plate?"

Yesterday, two men at the bar asked if the chef would make them a creme brulee.  There's no creme brulee on the menu.  "Come on, it's easy... He's a chef right?  Can you go ask him if he'll make it?"

"Can I just have some hot water? I brought my own tea."

The answer to everything is "Of course.  I'd be happy to."  It has become pretty clear to me how and why so many service employees get to be jaded and bitter.  I think that keeping a sense of the ridiculous is the best medicine.  If you can laugh at the requests (not to the customer's face, naturally) then you can keep handling them and keep being accommodating and hospitable.

Really, it's not even the complicated or strange or stupid requests that are truly hard to handle, but the people who become rude when you can't get them whatever weird shit they want, immediately.  Those are the tough ones.  What is it that sucks the joie de vivre out of these people? and how does it seem okay to vent on their helpless and hapless waiter?  I hope I never find out first hand.